Ugly American # 34 – Captain America # 320!

• Script: Mark Gruenwald
• Art: Paul Neary/Dennis Jahnke
In honor of the impending 4th of July festivities, the Ugly American thought it might be appropriate to devote a column to the adventures of Captain America, the star-spangled Avenger! Paying attention to the appropriateness of stuff is new to the Ugly American, so bear with me.

I was talking to Hetero Lifemate Dave this week about Cap, and how he may be the most difficult character in comics to write. (Also difficult: Superman, Reed Richards, and Dr. Strange) Cap is tough because the core of the character is supposed to be authentically pure. That’s hard to represent on a page, and pretty much impossible to present without seeming desperately lame. If you play it straight, he’s either going to come off sounding stupid, or phony, or both.

To his great credit, Mark Gruenwald took the tough road and played Cap straight and he pulled it off as well as it can be done for an extraordinary length of time. This Captain America doesn’t use curse words, opens doors for his dates, drives his van at the posted speed limit, and would stop a child on the street to talk to him about the perils of truancy if he found him during regular school hours. It’s all very horrifying. But it’s also sort of charming and comforting. As Captain America becomes less culturally relevant, he paradoxically becomes more needed and important. But I’ll get to that a bit later.

For now, the plot – Cap # 320 is the finale of the Scourge Saga. Once upon a time a vigilante in a skeletal mask named Scourge used a machine gun with explosive rounds to murder just about every C-List villain in Marvel’s books. People get upset about Dennis Hopeless and his Avengers Arena…pfft. He don’t know nothin’ 'bout killing. Gruenwald had Scourge off more characters by 9am than Hopeless does all day.

As the resident guru of all Marvel lore and continuity, Gruenwald was probably the only writer in house who remembered most of the deceased. All of those bodies did make quite a splash back in the day, though. This was more extreme than what Punisher was doing, frankly (I get it! - Monster Mike).

Were this sort of thing attempted today, it would no doubt be an event book with 38 bannered tie-in companion comics. In 1986, the stories resided mostly in the Captain America title as a B-plot with a crescendo at the end, plus a few stray issues in other books chiming in. No announcements on the cover, no fanfare. It was understood that the characters shared space, not shouted from a bullhorn. Every once in a while a hero would tangle with a has-been baddy, and suddenly a masked figure would shout “Justice is served” and then put a few explosive rounds into the poor bastard with a “pum! pum! pum!” to go with it. Then Scourge would slip away into the shadows.

By Cap # 319, Scourge had racked up enough corpses where the villains decided to gather together and have a confab about what to do about him. It never occurred to any of them that gathering into one room was just making things easier for the killer. Scourge ends up being the bartender at the “Bar With No Name” and shoots all 18 of the attending villains dead.

Water Wizard was supposed to be at that meeting, but he lucked out and caught a flat on the way. When he finds the carnage, who can he turn to? Cap. You can always turn to Captain America, who will do the right thing even if you’re a piece of garbage with a really unfortunate trident on your chest.

And that’s where issue # 320 picks up. Water Wizard arranges a meeting with Cap via his toll-free hotline. That’s right, folks, Captain America had his own 1-800 number so that regular citizens could call him for help. It’s so LAME, but it’s so right. And it does mean something to have this bedrock of American values available, fictional though he may be.

In “real” life, Reagan was knee deep in Iran Contra, and no administration has skated a clean program since. I mean, where do you start in 2013? The lying and covering up the Benghazi disaster? Or the lying and covering up the Fast & Furious debacle, or the lying and covering up of the IRS travesty? Or how about the lying and covering up of the massive domestic spying programs? No, if you can’t trust Mr. Hope & Change, there’s really only Captain America left. He talks like a dork, and his break room stories aren’t as good as Wolverine’s, but we need him. I don’t have a sentimental bone in my body, and I NEED HIM.

Naturally, Water Wizard tries to jam Cap with a water fist as soon as he shows up at the docks. It’s just tradition. You’ve got to have an action element at the beginning of the issue to get the ball rolling, and you’ve got to roll out a Marvel Misunderstanding. In this case, Gruenwald provides a decent alibi. Wizard can’t trust anybody at this point – when a mysterious figure shows up, better to go on the offensive. If it’s really, Cap, he’ll beat it.

Cap is naturally miffed, but he’s keen to get to the bottom of this Scourge business, at which point Water Wizard takes him back to the Bar With No Name and shows him the bodies. Interesting choice here by colorist Ken Feduniewicz, who washes out any would-be gore with
blues. Nothing to even hint blood. The only real visual indication of violence are the bullet holes punctuating the wall behind the figures, who otherwise could be confused as napping. Yup, the comics code authority was in full effect in 1986, not that Gruenwald needed any artificial restrictions to keep things classy.

From there, Cap puts the Water Wizard into protective custody, and Gruenwald starts drawing parallels between Scourge and Cap. Both figures climb into their respective battle plans and begin plotting. Scourge contacts his mysterious accomplice “Domino” to find another victim. They decide to go after Diamondback, who also happens to be Captain America’s off-and-on love interest.

Meanwhile, Cap coordinates with local law enforcement and the press to cook up a fake story about how Mirage survived Scourge’s attack at the bar. He knows that potential family members will see this lie on the news and he still does it. Not only that, but he actually dons the dead man’s costume (ostensibly with the bullet holes in it and blood still on it) so he can draw Scourge out and attempt to arrest him.

Gruenwald has now painted a scenario where it’s clear that both Cap and Scourge are operating outside of the law, and both men will have their codes tested. Scourge is still clearly the more repugnant of the two characters…but they’re beginning to converge a bit.

Scourge takes Cap’s bait, of course. He’s a little suspicious about the story, claiming to have confirmed all of his kills at the bar. (What, did he check 18 pulses after shooting the place up? Gross.) Still, he can’t afford any loose ends, and he doesn’t want to leave the job undone. Domino feeds Scourge the intel about Mirage’s location at a secluded cabin, and the final battle commences.

Scourge fills the cabin with explosive rounds, but the wily Cap left a dummy in the room for bait. When Scourge gets drilled with Cap’s shield, he quickly surmises that he’s been set up and flees the scene. During the ensuing chase, Cap hears Scourge run his clip dry and decides to wing his shield at him again. It connects, but Scourge reloads before the now defenseless Captain America can close the distance.

At this point, it’s Scourge who has a decision to make. He sees himself as a hero, and a punisher of super-criminals. But Captain America isn’t a criminal. On the other hand, if he doesn’t put Cap down, his career as a “hero” is over. What to do?

Scourge can’t pull the trigger. Captain America binds his hands and unmasks him, at which point Scourge recounts his own origin story. Turns out his father was in the movie business, (thus explaining his gift for disguises) and his brother was a piece of crap super-criminal. He just couldn’t take the family disgrace any more and put his brother down. Then he just kept going.
In my opinion, this is where Gruenwald loses some ground by offering up straw targets and straw arguments. There’s a personal motivation regarding his brother, but it feels weak that he would indiscriminately go after anybody else with a costume.

Here’s what I mean. Gruenwald is tapping into a genuinely juicy topic. The American justice system is designed to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty. The burden of proof is on the accuser, and the burden is onerous. In the end, that’s probably a good thing. Liberty is a precious commodity and worthy of protection, but it comes with a price. It doesn’t take much wobble for the system to get out of whack, at which point the law-abiding citizen is free from false imprisonment, but awash in unpunished degenerates.

What do you do when the subway is crawling with predators and nobody can get to work or go home in safety, and the law doesn’t seem to care? Bernie Goetz had an answer. Looks like George Zimmerman had an answer for the rash of ignored burglaries in his community. There are real-world consequences to this tenuous balance. I live them every day at work trying to stop dirty little thieves while still respecting people’s civil rights. It 'aint easy. These are good things to wonder about.

Unfortunately, Scourge is too crude a tool to really get to the bottom of things. If the goal was really to delve into the merits of vigilante justice vs. rule of law, I would have spent more time with Scourge, and have him be a little more discriminate with his victims. Scourge only attacked convicted criminals, but made no distinctions past that, which is sort of silly, and doesn’t allow the audience to take the position seriously. If Gruenwald could have taken the time to flesh out the heinous nature of certain crimes and the consequences wrought by career criminals, then Scourge’s actions have more meaning. As is, you can sort of dismiss him as a crackpot taking shots at undeveloped cartoon costumes.

I’m not suggesting that Mark Gruenwald dropped the ball, to be clear. Captain America comics in 1986 are not a perfect venue for deep deliberation on the justice system. But Scourge does make a valid point to Cap about their respective impacts. They are both vigilantes, and it’s possible to make a case that Scourge’s methods have had a greater impact on crime than Captain America’s have. That’s a little scary.

The issue ends with the now familiar cry of “Justice is served”! A shadowy figure (presumably Domino) shoots Scourge from the bushes. Captain America is faced with another dilemma – stay and try to save Scourge’s life, or go after his attacker and punish the guilty.

By now, we know the choice is clear. Cap chooses saving lives over making arrests. He chooses what is right over what is lawful. So he stays to help Scourge, though the effort is futile. He shows us how a good man and a good American should behave, regardless of how painful and frustrating the business of freedom and morality can be.

While it may not be the most sophisticated treatise in the world, Mark Gruenwald did a pretty darned good job of tackling some real contemporary issues inside of the trappings of superhero conventions. What he did was certainly more interesting than what that story would likely look like in 2013 - a tedious, neutered anti-gun polemic. Blechh.

So that’s what I’m thinking about as we approach the 4th of July here in ‘Merica. Much as I appreciate what Brubaker did with the character, I must confess I do miss the simpler, lamer Captain America. He’s good for the soul.

What are you thinking about?