Ugly American Bloated Halloween finale: The Classics!

The Spawn animated series didn't quite work out, but there are a couple of Halloween classics I can always count on, and watch every year.

The Crow (1994)

Of course The Crow began as a comic book, or as the closing credits declare...a "comic book series and comic strip by James O'Barr". The comic book series I get, but comic strip? I certainly don't recall that in the Sunday funny pages. It would have been a sharp (and welcome) contrast to Family Circus, that's for sure. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think that ever happened. I'm digressing already, but just as an aside, if you're reading this you should definitely go back to the WMD archives and spin # 239 with the James O'Barr interview. It's worth it.

I imagine most of you reading this need no introduction to The Crow, but some of you might, and the good news is that the story is very simple to grasp. Eric Draven and Shelly Webster are to be married on Halloween, but are murdered the night before by a quartet of street thugs. A crow brings his soul back a year later to seek revenge.

That's it. Keep it simple, stupid! I wish more storytellers knew to do that. You keep the core concept simple, and then the devil is in the details. The Crow separates itself because so many of the details are handled with exemplary skill.

Alex Proyas chose to go oppresively dark with the picture, punctuated by bright strobe effects, and glaring reds. Some of the human elements are lit, but when Eric Draven is on screen, the film is practically in black-and-white, with the notable exception of wonderfully odd scene between Brandon Lee and Ernie Hudson. That's the scene that produces the "nothing is trivial" line that you'll remember forever. That's another strong element - The Crow is imminently quotable.

It's been a while since I've visited the source material, but I think many of the best lines were contributed by the screen writers, which is not a criticism of O'Barr, but a surprising compliment to the film team. So often a comic property is stripped of its essence because a film-maker doesn't understand what makes the property go. You just have to shake your head when a studio opens up Juggernaut's helmet so you can see his face, or when they hire gifted smart-ass Ryan Reynolds to play a character (Deadpool) defined by his mouth, and then physically remove it.

The Crow movie gets it right because it clearly understood that this was a vengeance story...about love. If you read the original comics or listen to J O'Barr talk about that story with your ears open, you'll know that it isn't Death Wish or Dirty Harry. The revenge element is there to be sure, and also celebrated. The Crow doesn't actually take pleasure in killing, but neither is it just a mechanical duty. There's a showmanship to it, and symbolism. If you're paying attention, Eric kills them all ironically. Tin-tin dies by the sword, Fun Boy with drugs, T-Bird by fire, (and then The Crow signs it with his own fiery bird) and he kills Skank in the manner he himself was killed.

My roundabout point is that I won't deny that this is a revenge movie, but that's not where it's heart is. It's a vengeance story catalyzed by love lost, and consistently showing a better way. The world is dark, and connection is the way out. Love your fiance, mentor the little girl who was orphaned by a tragic murder, remember what it means to be a responsible to your daughter. The Crow is not a horror or adventure tale....it's a love story.

I've watched the movie many times, and every time there are points when I sort of leave the story space and think "Brandon Lee died making this movie....what a loss that is." There are moments when you can catch him in the act of trying, and not all of his choices work. The Crow is filled with strong emotional beats across the spectrum, beats that are very easy to turn cartoony and excessive. Brandon Lee takes a lot of chances with his performance and nails most of them. There was nothing in say..."Rapid Fire" that suggested he was interested in or capable of the depth on display in The Crow.

Toward the end of the movie when Eric storms Top Dollar's tower looking for Skank, the police bust in, point their guns and tell him to freeze. Lee's choice was to hold his hands up, then prance to the window like he's Michigan J Bullfrog and crashes through. It's a surprise laugh that completely cuts through all expectations, and you're telling me that's in the script? There's no way. Brandon Lee did that, and it's inspired.

I watch this every year around Halloween, (usually on "Devil's Night, the night before) and I always pick up new things. This time I may or may not have picked up on a piece of the Crow Mythos.

After Draven dispatched with Skank...the mission is over. He goes back to Shelly's grave, and is about to disappear or crumble to dust, or do whatever it is Crow's do when the vengeance is done. He pulls his hand back from Shelly's grave because Top Dollar has captured Sarah and he hears her scream.

When Eric gets to the church with Albrecht, Tony Todd shoots Draven's crow avatar, and he suddenly becomes vulnerable. We think those things are connected, because Bai Ling's character says so. But really, how the hell would she know that? Just because you sniff incense off roasted eyeballs doesn't make you an expert on ghostly vengeance. This is a character with such a fantastic grasp of the situation that she allows her own eyeballs to be plucked out of her head by a now extraordinarily pissed off magical crow.

Why would wounding the crow affect Draven's healing abilities? If that crow sprains his ankle, then he has to wait until it comes off the injured reserve to continue the mission? It doesn't make sense.

I'm not convinced that it matters a lot in the grand scheme of things, but I think Eric Draven lost his magical abilities because he went off-mission. Sarah was not part of the plan. He had supernatural sanction to go after the men who directly raped and murdered Shelly and killed him, but after that...no dice. I think he was vulnerable when he went into that church whether Tony Todd clipped his bird or not.

It still fits the story mechanics perfectly, because the theme is that you don't turn your back on love, even if it's not part of your undead itinerary. The move is to help Sarah, which he does. He even gets one last mystical gift (even with a wounded crow) that forces empathy on Top Dollar, who ordinarily receives pleasure from other's pain. This time he uploads 30 hours of Shelly's suffering into Top Dollar, who is then defeated.

Anywho. Not a big deal, but that's my theory now after watching The Crow for about the 37th time.

Trick R' Treat (2007)

I love The Crow, but this is now my Grand Champion of Halloween movies. When Trick R' Treat initially launched, I saw the promo pieces featuring a creepy little guy with a burlap sack on his head and outright dismissed it. No matter how good the look was, and Sam does have a good look, (especially with the mask off) I was simply not interested in a mindless creature feature where a spooky cipher randomly stalks and kills. I've seen that movie a gajillion times. No more, please.

Trick R' Treat is not that movie.

There is nothing mindless, random, or cliched about Trick R' Treat, and it isn't actually about Sam. It's about Samhain, the origin of Halloween. It's about acknowledging and understanding the past so that you can act correctly in the present. It's about respecting the darkness, not becoming it. It's about paying homage to tradition, and coming to a correct understanding about one's place in the world, in order to make that world a better place.

Now, before you check out on me, please do understand that we learn all these lessons via werewolves, ghost children, and disturbing little Sam. And when you aren't being bombarded with the spectral forces of darkness, there are also very real sexual predators, child predators, crotchety old men, and grade school bullies to contend with. In other words - fun!
Trick R' Treat is actually four stories that end up overlapping and interlocking with each other as the movie progresses. It has a clear point of view and it is absolutely dedicated to subverting your expectations.

Michael Dougherty is the writer and director of the movie. He has writing credits on X2: X-Men United and Superman Returns, so he's got a bit of a comic book background. There's even a Trick R' Treat comic by Mark Andreyko and Mike Huddleston. He's clearly seen and adores all the same horror movies I have. He knows them all, and knows how to remind you of them...and then the rug comes out from under you, every time.

I very much envy those of you who haven't seen this film yet, and can have that initial experience of surprise again and again. I'm not going to spoil anything with plot analysis, because I want you all to maintain that surprise.

I didn't see the film until 2011, and only watched it as an accident the first time. It was just on in the background, in the middle of the picture. I was hooked inside of five minutes, and then by the end when I started piecing together how the stories were cascading into each other, I decided I must find this and watch it front to back. I hit the guide button to see what hidden little masterpiece I was watching, and when the grid said "Trick R' Treat", I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. How could I have been so wrong about this, and why hasn't anybody told me this was so good!

The most compelling element of the movie is its internal logic. Trick R' Treat has its own set of rules based upon its theme of respecting tradition, and it follows them religiously. Everything that is mindless, and dull, and played-out about most horror movies becomes instantly fresh in this movie because it all happens for a reason.

Somebody could write a very worthwhile term paper dissecting where these characters transgress, and whether the punishments are just or not. It's that rarest of movies that can be enjoyed by a variety of people at a multitude of levels. There is ethical pondering and philosophy about the human condition available if you want that kind of thing. There's horror and violence in moderate amounts for those in the market for that. And there's also Anna Paquin and a bunch of her co-ed friends prancing about in really hot halloween costumes for those who go in for that.
And Bryan Cox. There's definitely Bryan Cox...who doesn't like him?

Trick R' Treat is not just a great Halloween movie, it's one of my top five favorite movies ever. Highest possible recommendation as something to pop in and watch on Halloween.

The Ugly American's Comfortably Bloated Halloween, part 2: More Werewolves!

Werewolf By Night # 14
Script: Marv Wolfman (no, I'm not kidding..that's his name)
Art: Mike Ploog/Frank Chiarmonte

Last week the Ugly American tackled some modern mob-type werewolves, and they were pretty darned good. If you want to travel to the center of my heart, though, it resides in a magical land called the Bronze Age.

I think a lot of people forget - there was a significant chunk of time when you couldn't publish profitable comics without the Comics Code seal of approval, and they had pretty much outlawed all horror elements from the medium. So in the 1970s, monster books were a delicious forbidden pleasure, and Marvel eased back into the genre with a pile of creature books like Tomb of Dracula, Frankenstein, Man-Thing, Zombie Tales, and of course Werewolf By Night.

The Marvel monster books were tame in comparison to the pre-code EC material that drove the genre underground, but still great fun. In the case of Werewolf By Night, the protagonist Jack Russell uses the wolf as an unwitting tool against evil. That's how you got around the code, of course - you kept the blood to a minimum, and you made sure the bad guys were getting the worst of it.

While the code did limit some of the overt sex and violence, Werewolf by Night brought healthy dollops of both in a very attractive package. My favorite cover in the series is # 14, with a classic Mike Ploog werewolf facing off against the diabolical mage Taboo and his lovely assistant Topaz caught in the middle. Delicious!

How do I adore Mike Ploog's art?...let me count the ways. First of all, his wolf creature is BAD ASS, ready to rip, and a powerfully lithe figure. A lot of guys want to communicate power through size, (and that can work, of course) but what a great choice Ploog makes to eschew that in favor of a more natural figure. Look at the way he's posed the Wolf, especially with the right arm in a posture that human beings just don't take. Green pants aside, that's a beast you do NOT want to mess with, and you don't need the monster bulked out to convey it.

Ploog is communicating everything you need to know about the character through the eyes. The Wolf and Taboo have the narrow menacing eyes, and Taboo's overly-developed arched brows take him over the top. Topaz has the overly-large manga style eyes, partly because that character's heart is about to pound out of her chest, and partly because it's an old trick to establish a warm openness to the character.

A couple other items strike me about the art in general, and that cover in particular. LOVE the Kirby Crackle floating out of that cauldron in the back, classic 1970s! I like the accentuated chubby fingers on Taboo, as well. I guess I wouldn't describe Ploog's style as "cartoony", but some of the features are a little exaggerated (in the best ways) and it tends to soften things a bit.

Again, the publishers have the code to deal with. You don't necessarily want your art team to take a "John Buscema on Savage Sword of Conan" approach. It would be gorgeous, but it would feel too real...not safe enough. In my opinion Mike Ploog's pencils are perfect because he's revelling in the horror elements without skeeving you out in a Crossed sort of way. That's not a knock on Crossed, mind you, there's absolutely a place for that book. A 1974 spinner rack at a 7-11 is not one of those places, though.

The story is easy to grasp and recapped nicely on page one. The basics are these - Jack Russell is cursed to become a Werewolf By Night, and he's currently in possession of a book of dark sorcery called The Darkhold. Taboo wants it for nefarious purposes, Jack doesn't want him to have it. Jack is kind of swaying his assistant Topaz over to the side of angels, and Taboo has somehow transported the mind of Jack's hated stepfather into a monstrous golem.

Let the battle begin...ding! ding! To up the ante, sunrise hits the venue in the middle of round five, and now Jack has to battle Algon without the benefit of The Wolf to help.

That's the tip of the iceberg...there's a ton of story in this issue. I won't be handing out any spoilers here, but I can tell you that tension abounds in this issue. Neither Jack nor the Wolf like Taboo very much. Topaz is torn between the devil she knows and a possible life with Jack she may not fit into. Jack likes Topaz, but how in the world could he ever trust her? Jack is always at odds with the Wolf. (although sometimes he slips up and says "I" in the voice overs when the Wolf is acting) He can't stand his stepfather, because he killed his birth mother. But he can't just let the guy get stuck inside a monster, either, can he?

The key to the old (and also the new) Marvel books is that relentless wave of dramatic tension. Things rarely work out perfectly for these characters, there are always urgent and generally relatable problems to be solved. I feel like I'm out of control sometimes. I think the girl I like is really terrible for me and has daddy issues. My stepfather's mind is trapped in a magical killing machine. Nobody is building to an "event" here, where everything we know about Jack "changes forever". It's a story about a guy with interesting problems, and he tries to solve them.

And by the end of the issue, some of those problems have clean resolutions. Some of the problems have become more complicated. Then we're on to the next thing, which in this case is a trip to Transylvania to square off against Dracula himself. Stuff is moving, baby! That's Bronze age Marvel comics at work.

But wait...there's more. You'd be getting your 20 cents worth just with the Marv Wolfman story and Mike Ploog art. But what if I told you that the Record Club of America was offering 6 LPs or 5 cassette tapes for only 99 cents, with no further obligation to purchase anything else? The correct answer is: JACKPOT!!!

They weren't offering any musical dregs, either, my friend. We're talking about epic material like Helen Reddy, Donny Osmond, and Three Dog Night. Now those are treasures.

You don't see too much of that in today's comics. Mostly because nobody makes cassette tapes any more. You get a lot of house ads in today's comics, and you get some video game ads. I like the old books better with horrifyingly stupid Hostess comics, and Sea Monkeys, (never had the balls to order them) or 7,312 green plastic army men for $2.00 is always good as well. I definitely ordered several billion of the green plastic army men. Were they more likely to get caught in the blades of the lawnmower, or my trachea? Pretty much a coin flip. Why was I sucking on military men with telescopic rifles, any way? Best not to ponder that, I think.

Let's change the subject and check out this Mike Ploog splash page, huh? Look how he's got the story elements of the panel lined up perfectly in that classic "Z" pattern that your eye (unless you've been reading manga your whole life) naturally wants to follow. You almost don't need the captions to figure out what's going on.

Taboo has called on the spectral avatar of his assistant Topaz and shot her mystically into Algon, who already has a disturbed mind inside. Ploog went trippy with the psychological battle; I think Algon's pained expression in the bottom left corner is just priceless. I think that's the kind of panel that the old Marvel Method invited an artist experiment with.

A full script writer might attempt something similar, but I think they're going to get it wrong more often than not. Both styles have advantages, but the older I get the more I see the value in the give-take-give approach. The writer designs a solid blueprint, the artist constructs it with real trench know-how, and then the writer takes that solid structure, sees how beautiful the construction team makes it, and then adds a little koi pond or tasteful rug to really bring the room together at the end. Sometimes when the blueprint guy tries to do the drywall...the whole thing comes down. Or looks ugly.

I love pretty much everything about these Bronze age gems, if you can't tell already. I like the letters page and Stan's soapbox. And hey, you didn't think Stan would let a page go by without a little cross-promoting of other Marvel titles, did you? Well, he doesn't. My favorite in this issue is a Conan advert letting you know about an upcoming tussle with "Thusla" Doom. And if you think he's bad news, you should see his cousin Thulsa. That guy was so formidable they had to get the voice of Darth Vader to play him.

Anywho. Halloween is a good excuse to revisit these treasures. If you're not occasionally going back and diving into some older comics, you're doing yourself a disservice.


COMING UP NEXT:

Nothing in this life could possibly prepare you for how awesome Afterlife With Archie is going to be. The first issue hits stands this Wednesday, October 9th!!!! No mortal is worthy to review such a macabre masterpiece....but lucky for you The Ugly American is prepared to venture where angels fear to tread. I'll be back with a full review soon!

The Ugly American's Comfortably Bloated Halloween, Part 1: Werewolves!

When the Ugly American was just an ugly little boy, Christmas was the Cadillac of holidays. Christmas carried the ultimate trump card - a guaranteed assload of presents. And because you knew the presents were coming, there was the added bonus of sinfully painful anticipation. That's pretty tough to top.

But now that the Ugly American is an old man with ever more faltering plumbing and ever more crotchety joints, I have to say that Halloween is king. Carbohydrates? Yes, please! I like the more authentic sanctity of spirits, and fear barely held at bay. I don't know how much of Christmas has anything to do with sincere religious belief. That whole scene is so plagued by rampant commerce and political correctitude....all the vitality has been stripped out. I think a lot of people, even people who publicly would declare otherwise are afraid of ghosts in their guts. That, I like. I like the notion of acknowledging, facing, and making peace with monsters. Halloween is one of the few holidays that doesn't mind being sexy, either. What's not to like?

So all this month, The Ugly American is doing Halloween....a comfortably bloated Halloween. Let's talk about werewolves, shall we? YES!

Kiss Me,Satan! # 1
Dark Horse Comics
Script: Victor Gishcler
Art: Juan & Eduardo Ferreyra

Kiss Me, Satan! is the story of Barnabus, a fallen angel looking to make good by protecting a coven of comely witches from a pack of werewolves.

Story-wise, I really enjoyed the fact that Kiss Me stayed true to the old K.I.S.S. formula: Keep It Simple, Stupid! So many of these types of stories end up falling flat these days because they are primarily concerned with not telling you the story. The point lately is make a lot of jump-cuts out of time and dribble little crumbs of stuff that might be a story later on.... but in the meantime here's some people you don't care about doing things you don't understand.

Not so, here. The character is instantly identifiable. He's a noir template hard-boiled thumper. Nothing too fancy there, but the thing that Gischler did with Barnabus is soften him with a hint of self-doubt. On the outside he's all confidence and posturing, but internally he wonders if he's bitten off more than he can chew, and makes tactical mistakes. If he's just hyper-confident, that gets a little grating. I can deal with spending time with Barnabus.

We've also got character motivation we can comprehend quickly. Of all the angels that rebelled against God, Barnabus is the one guy trying to win his way back into the fold. The deal is, he works for God now until the Almighty decides he's paid his debt. When is that? His contact (a ridiculous, pudgy little cherub named Julien) says he doesn't know. One gets the feeling that Team God might just be yanking his chain.

So Barnabus is stuck doing grunt work for a God that might never come through on his end of the deal, and meanwhile the minions of Satan don't take kindly to anybody breaking the union picket line. The angels don't accept him, the devils are pissed off that he's breaking ranks, and the werewolves he's been repeatedly shooting in the face don't seem particularly pleased with him, either.

Point being, after the first issue I know exactly who this character is, I completely understand what's motivating him, and there's tension everywhere because it's one man against (at least) three worlds. How rare is it these days to find a comic that sets the reader up so well? Keep It Simple, Stupids!

Which is not to say that there aren't any mysteries or subtleties involved. Barnabus has a little MacGuffin of a necklace with an attractive Goat of Mendez on it. It does some special stuff for him, we're not sure what just yet. We don't know anything about what prompted Barney to pursue heaven again, or how his contract work with God started.

Also undeveloped to this point is the idea that "New Orleans is a werewolf town." So far what it means is that the werewolves are abundant and in control, basically operating like the mob. They run prostitution and protection rackets, and other supernaturals presumably know that they enter New Orleans at their own risk. I think this comic graduates from "good" to "great" if Gischler can really flesh out that "werewolf town" aspect fully and show us how a city would uniquely develop under those circumstances. I don't think that's on his agenda, though.

The plot hammer works like this - Cassian is top dog of the New Orleans werewolf clan, and his wife Meredith has a little puppy-bun in the oven. Or does she? A witch with a mechanical Cthulhian eye
is brought in to determine if the baby carries the Mark of the Lycanthrope. No mark, no succeeding the pack leader. And in this case, Verona (who should definitely be voiced by Brad Bird in any animated adaptation) has bad news - no werewolf Mark for junior.

It's implied that if the child can't succeed the father, then pack leadership becomes a free-for-all bloody battle for the crown. Of course when Cassian works this out in his head he kills everybody in the room, and then determines that the only loose ends left to cut off are Verona and her apprentice witches.

So Cassian sends his trusted cadre of werewolf thugs out to assassinate Verona
and her crew, and Barnabus for some reason is contracted by heaven to protect them. Let the hijinx ensue!

And ensue they do, in all the glory that Juan Ferreyra can muster, which turns out to be quite a lot. I like the strong jawlines and facial expressions. I don't ordinarily notice the coloring in a comic, but I sure did in this case. All of the action sequences have a kind of blurred, painted motion effect that I was completely enamored with. Toward the back end of the book, there's a chase sequence that happens at night, and I really enjoyed the lighting effects and the ambience of that as well. In the credits, Eduardo Ferreyra is listed as providing "color assistance". I'm not sure what that means, but if it has anything to do with brushing out those blur lines, I'm way into his work.

I wouldn't describe Kiss Me, Satan! as a gore-fest, but the ample action displayed does not pull punches. Listen, when you pick up a werewolf comic, you're going to want a requisite amount of clawing, biting, and slashing wolf creatures. Satan does not disappoint in any of those categories. This is a comic with an eye toward hitting the accelerator in all phases. It sets up quickly, things move forward with minimal dawdling, and when the punches come they land hard.

If you were looking for something akin to Sandman, then I would pass on Kiss Me, Satan! If you were looking for straight horror, I think you're barking up the wrong tree. If you like high-action noir, you will feel very much at home here. You've got a flawed/damned protagonist blasting werewolves and rescuing dames...I love it!

Next up.....more lycanthropes when the Ugly American tackles Werewolf By Night # 14!